Plenty to Ponder for Gatland

Plenty to Ponder

A scrappy match in Otago served the British & Irish Lions with their second loss of their tour of New Zealand, against a stubborn Highlanders side.

Under the “glasshouse” roof of the Forsyth-Barr Stadium, the men in red looked promising in parts, only to crumble when put under pressure, particularly at the breakdown.

There was some back and forth in the opening 10 mins. Rhys Webb breaking well, and Waisake Naholo, butchering a 3 v 1, was tackled well by Henshaw. Highlanders 10 Lima Sopoaga put the home side in front with a penalty after 4 minutes. Dan Biggar replying with a penalty of his own on the 15 minute mark.

The game began to open up a bit more, and the Super rugby side were the first to notch a try – All Black winger Naholo with an easy run in after Henshaw missed his first-up tackle. The Ireland centre complained he was impinged by lock Alex Ainley, but referee Angus Gardner was not interested. Sopoaga added the 2 points with a straightforward kick. England lock Courtney Lawes, a powerful presence up til then, took a nasty head knock trying to stop Naholo, and his game was ended, Alun Wyn Jones coming on in his place.

The Lions put pressure on their own restart, and 4 minutes later, Jonathan Joseph crossed the whitewash. Dan Biggar played a smart penalty advantage, and released the backline with England’s Jonathan Joseph touching down after dexterous offloads from both CJ Stander and Biggar. The Ospreys 10 duly slotted the extras from left of the posts.

With the game poised at 10-10, and half-time approaching, Harlequins tighthead Sinckler made an astonishing break through midfield on the halfway line, but it came to nothing and the ref blew for the half.

The Lions needed a good start to the 2nd half, and after 2 minutes they got it. Scotland wing Seymour, who had a poor first 40, rose magnificently to steal a Sopoaga cross field kick and race away. Biggar pulled the touchline conversion to the left, but the Lions were starting to show some urgency in defence and attack. Webb made another clever dart, before being hauled ashore. A mixed bag from the Welshman – running well, but kicking poorly.

Sopoaga made another penalty to bring it to 15-13, but the Lions were still in the ascendency. As has been the theme of the Lions attack so far on tour, several waves of red forwards battered the opposition line, before eventually a mistake let captain Warburton through under the posts. A well taken try, although Alun Wyn Jones may wish to claim an assist after effectively taking two would be defenders out of the game by clearing one out, and scragging another’s jersey. After the Naholo try, it seemed like some sort of justice. Once again, Biggar potted the extras from right under the posts.

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Warburton touches down

Thereafter however, the story changes. The Lions began to ease off, and to concede more penalties at the breakdown and at scrum-time. Silly errors when kicking from hand compounded, when Biggar missed touch with a penalty. The Highlanders drove for the corner with a penalty of their own. Iain Henderson produced a magnificent piece of counter-rucking to turn over the ball, and Laidlaw cleared well. Elliot Daly, on for Jared Payne, took a mark from the ensuing Highlanders clearance, only to also miss touch.

The Highlanders claimed another penalty, this time for offside, and kicked to the corner. A superbly clinical lineout maul followed, and Liam Coltman fell on the ball to give Marty Banks a simple conversion to make it 20-22.

Owen Farrell came on after a solid shift from Biggar, and his first act of the game was to miss a very easy kick by his standards. The miss proved to be crucial, as Marty Banks slotted a penalty to make it 23-22 to the Highlanders with 7 minutes to the horn.

Elliot Daly very nearly landed a huge penalty to win it, before the Lions wasted another backline move – Farrell throwing an unsympathetic pass to Joseph coming on a hardline. That was that, and the Highlanders took a deserved victory on their home ground. For the Lions, far from disastrous for a team shorn of most potential test starters. However, there are many elements that will leave Warren Gatland scratching his head ahead of the next game against the Maori All Blacks this Saturday.

Gatland’s Conundrums

Discipline & Accuracy

After improved discipline against the Crusaders, the Lions looked to have regressed; they were pinged 12 times during the game, the majority of which were for infringements at rucktime. Other silly offsides against Alun Wyn Jones in particular, were incredibly frustrating to watch from a Lions perspective.

Not for the first time on tour, the Lions were left to ponder a lack of clinical accuracy when presented with scoring opportunities. Rhys Webb and Tommy Seymour amongst other, who were held up on or close to the line. You get a feeling that Warburton’s try would never have materialized had AWJ not “cleverly” held on to the defender set to tackle the captain. While 3 tries is not to be sniffed at, the reality is for the Lions attack so far that there is plenty of huff and puff,  little penetration or clever boxing.

A series of missed touchfinders led directly to the Coltman try. Loose kicks to touch are exactly not what you want to feed an All Black back 3 with any combination of Dagg, Savea, Naholo et al.

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Naholo will punish any errant kicking in a Test

Backrow

Throughout the game the balance of the backrow seemed off. Haskell is the definition of a midweek player, industrious but lacking in any specialised skills. Sam Warburton took his try well, but still looks to be off the pace in terms of match fitness. CJ Stander carried as bravely and selflessly as ever and produced one crucial turnover, but one can’t but feel that he doesn’t quite impose himself on the larger kiwi frames as he does in the Pro12 or the 6 Nations. Then again, it has been a long season for the Munster man. Regardless of selection, there seems to be an issue with discipline at the breakdown for this Lions team. Justin Tipuric made very little impact when he came on for Warburton. A real shame in a game crying out for clever link play for the Lions.

Fullback

Jared Payne is a wonderful fullback, with a great read of the game, and an uncanny ability to find space where there appears to be none. However, the former Auckland Blues man is simply not match-fit or match-sharp. Several uncharacteristic dropped balls at key moments tell the tale, as well as the severe shortness of breath to be seen at various breaks in the game.

It has so far not been a tour for back 3 play purists (poor Stuart Hogg must be frustrated by his tour-ending injury). One wonders, with Farrell missing easy kicks, and Payne dropping easy balls, perhaps Leigh Halfpenny does in fact have one hand on the test 15 jersey.

 

Sleeping Dogs: A review of a 4 year old game

I lived in China. Apparently that’s something that I like to mention a lot. But then again, I did live there. For a year. In China. Which is ages away.

I never played any of the original “True Crime” games on PS2, mostly because GTA was the only game to have in the 2000s and my teenage angst was directed into becoming a crime lord in Liberty and Vice Cities. Also, “True Crime” sounded like a shit, murdering spouses documentary series on History after 10pm.

When I heard there was an open world crime game set in real world Hong Kong coming out, I knew I’d probably check it out even if it was originally meant to be part of the True Crime series. I have always been a big fan of the Hong Kong action movie genre – John Woo basically invented holding two handguns and diving through things as a cinematic technique. Please go and watch Hard Boiled, or Infernal Affairs (AKA the original The Departed). Then go and play Sleeping Dogs. Honestly, there has never been a source material so lovingly recreated in game form, than the Hong Kong movie genre in Sleeping Dogs.

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Pew pew pew –  Hard Boiled

I’ve never seen a real world location recreated so faithfully in a game. I don’t mean the city layout and street names because I have no idea (even though I lived in China for a year), but rather the neon soaked, rain slicked streets of Hong Kong. The throngs of people at markets (Pork Bun Guy for the fucking win), rushing to their office jobs, or battered old grannies practicing mystical Tai Chi in municipal parks, or smoking mystical cigarettes in cafés and restaurants and alleyways. Sleeping Dogs nails all of these little aspects and more.

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Lift to Killester?

The story is another star performer in this game. I won’t spoil much because I’m too lazy to go into detail, but the main character, Wei Shen, is believable. At no point do you feel like an avenging angel, or some brooding antihero forced to acknowledge his dark side or something. You are basically an undercover Garda, dishing out slaps to gang members/crooked cops. Sadly, none of the missions involve telling lads drinking cans in the park to go home, or pointing confused people outside Croke Park how to get to Quinn’s after the game. The story tips along nicely, and has a fairly memorable cast of dodgy Chinese people with tattoos and vests and chains.

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The whole getup is pretty sweet bro

The missions are kind of formulaic, but because the fighting system is so much fun, you really won’t mind. You have this gas cunt of a kungfu teacher who teaches you some fairly harsh moves as the story wears on. There is a deep and rewarding system of counters and light and heavy attacks. It’s similar to the Batman Arkham games in terms of depth. However, you can also kill people using aquariums, and the fish in those aquariums. In fact, the environmental attacks are pretty phenomenal. There’s usually a handy bin that for whatever reason, if you hoist someone into, they seem unable to leave.

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Usually game achievements are kind of hollow, but this…this is true fulfilment

Sleeping Dogs generally throws you into a situation where you go into a warehouse, mystical kungfu kick a load of boys in the face and then drive off with a load of drugs/fake watches/real watches. Thankfully there are very few shitty fetch quests or escort missions that usually happen in the beginning/middle of many sandbox games.

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There is only one clothes shop in Hong Kong apparently

 

If you like GTA, please go and give this a whirl. You can dress up as Bruce Lee and kick grannies in the leg. I mean, I love this game, because it reminds me so much of what I loved about living in China. What a great place to live. For a year.

And remember, “a man who never eats a pork bun, is never a real man”.

Seán’s Shite PC Blog #2: Splinter Cell Chaos Theory

When I had finished Ghost Recon for the 7th time, I figured I needed another game to play. I had Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory for the PS2, and I had enjoyed it immensely. I knew I would love it again, but I had genuine concerns that my laptop may melt into itself with the huge ask of a 2005 PS2 game’s graphical demands. Imagine my delight when this sneaky fucker not only was playable on ol’ Forrest Junk, but it actually looked better than I remembered, and the levels had some variation on the PS2 edition. Yay.

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Great stance. Really lets the knees absorb the shock. But will they absorb the guilt of shooting a man in the face? Only time will tell.

Infiltrating a Japanese spa resort, infiltrating a Panamanian bank, infiltrating a New York office. These may seem like the misadventures of a confused retiree on holiday, but they are in fact the incredibly fun, and atmospheric levels in Splinter Cell’s 3rd iteration. Each area is well planned, and you really feel like you are in a Peruvian lighthouse, and not what the game designers felt would be a cooler interpretation of that. In fact, the more mundane aspects of level design are given a lot of attention. My only issue is that there can be an over-reliance on the night vision goggles, and you miss out on some of the cooler lighting and shadow effects. Good craic sneaking around with the thermal vision though. Like Predator hunting Schwarzenegger. Except instead of Arnie, it’s a normal security guard from Colombia who probably has a family, and a mortgage.

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*Quickly switches to excel file to look like he’s working*

The voice acting and dialogue writing are believable, and flow naturally. Michael Ironside’s darkly humorous portrayal of Sam Fisher is a personal favourite performance in games, and Blacklist is much worse off for his absence. What is it about shafting main voice actors in stealth action series, eh? (That’s a cheeky Metal Gear Solid joke there for the nerdier amongst yous)

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Ultimate stealth move #1: a solid root up the arse

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Super secret ninja move #2: a good knee in the hole

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Close quarters combat technique # 3: a right old kick up the jaxy, and a shank in the kidney

 

 

On the topic of atmosphere…sweet ear Jesus I forgot how good Amon Tobin’s soundtrack for this game is. Seriously, considering how just a few years earlier, Konami were fumbling around with organic soundtracks in MGS2, Ubisoft and Amon Tobin nailed this soundtrack. The music transitions help you know you are hidden, or spotted without being hand-holdingly obvious. The tunes are more than just aural cues though, they are genuinely all so perfectly suited to each level’s ambience and setting. I remember mentioning Amon Tobin’s name to a music hipster friend of mine years ago, and the guy had never heard of him, and thought it was just noise. Fast forward 4 years and my friend was telling me how everyone needs to listen to this guy’s use of ambient noise, or something. Fuck you man.

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Shneaky kint

I found the OST on a certain web music player recently and I listen to it every day. Sitting on the tube, I may be staring at a sweaty twenty-something office worker (oh no wait, that’s my own reflection. Hello handsome), but in my mind, I’m tiptoeing around a high-tech security system in a Korean military base by, like, shooting electric scramblers at the generators, or some shit. Listen to this soundtrack here, and tell me you don’t want to be sneaking around a cargo ship full of weapons, blasting rubber bullets at innocent security guards’ nether regions!

 

If you love stealth games, or kicking people up the arse, this is the game for you. I honestly think this might be my favourite game of all time, or at least in the top 3. Whatever though, the newer ones don’t work on my Compaq, but I don’t care because they’re fucking lame anyway.

Seán’s Shite PC Blog #1

I got a laptop for college. It was the cheapest one in a back to school special at Curry’s PC World. It came with a wonderful briefcase carrier bag, a sweet wireless mouse, and a free Norton anti-virus subscription. Right on!! It was ambitiously loaded with Windows 8, an interesting decision as I discovered the thing could barely handle Vista. In the world of purebred gaming PCs, my Compaq is the gaming equivalent of a two legged donkey in a horserace: totally unsuited to that challenge, and to be honest, not even suited for its day-to-day task of imgur, balls.ie, and definitely not pirating films and TV shows.

Anyway, as a filthy casual, I own a few consoles but no proper gaming PC. I only game on my pc when I am abroad and don’t have my consoles with me. Bearing in mind how awful my laptop is (buffering porn often takes so long that the mood passes), I am fairly limited in what I can play, however there are a few relics that I have found that I love.

Ghost Recon (2001)

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The game most certainly does not look like this

IMHO, the last of the “real” Tom Clancy games, starting with the OG Rainbow Six. In 2001 the first Ghost Recon game was too hard for me without cheats. In 2015, this game is too hard for me without quicksave and quickload. It’s also still the best tactical military game I have ever played. The newer iterations of Ghost Recon (GRAW etc) with the gadgets and stuff are alright, but this game often has me pulling my hair out screaming at AI teammates, and yet it is never enough to put me off. Your squad is incredibly vulnerable to bullets, they move slowly, and can often miss targets at point blank range. It also doesn’t help that those absolutely vital quicksave and quickload buttons are right next to each other by default, further adding to my self inflicted hairloss.

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It’s more like this. Look at this poor bastard. 

But…when it all comes together. When your sniper picks off the first sentry, and your fireteam that was hiding around the corner storms in to take down those terrorist scum-motherFUCKER why did you not shoot him?!! OK. Quick load. Right, sorry, yeah. The boys storm the building and do their thing and it feels genuinely rewarding. As if you are some sort of Scipio Africanus kicking ass in the Alps, but with more pewpewpew and less war elephants. Sweet sweet tactical deliciousness.

15 years on, there’s a reason Ghost Recon 1 is still available on Steam for £7: punishing enemy and friendly AI, steep yet rewarding learning curve, and decent add-on packs in Desert Siege and Island Thunder, as well as a tonne of mods at http://www.ghostrecon.net . and a fairly active community. Anyway, fuck you. If I had a decent PC I’d play Arma or something